2014 was in so many ways absolutely wonderful! I realize this fact and am grateful for the many blessings that manifested this year. Believe me I know how lucky I have and continue to be.
In addition to realizing how lucky I am.. I have to be honest and say that I am totally frustrated with myself as well. I have spent so much energy this year on trying to ignore my particularly nasty inner critic that I feel like a lot of my time was wasted. You know that voice that self sabotages you.. Mine has at times has left me so broken down, bogged down in fear and creatively blocked. I have felt so frozen for so long! I let myself keep myself from following through with the multitude of ideas that are generated by my own brain on a constant basis. 2014 was a year particularly heavy with the voice of that critic whose whisperings create doubt, fear and downright panic!
I long for change .. to move ahead in my journey yet if I continue on letting my inner critic (who happens to have a male voice) have its way I will be still stuck in the same situation, the same job, the same city, the rutt that I have been in for the last 9 years at least. I need change! I need to follow through with the talents and potential I know is there yet fear has kept me from developing.
Ok enough of the negative already! What is the purpose of this blog post? Well after my latest battle with said inner critic this past weekend I am determined to end the year with shutting him up and replacing him with an inner cheerleader and mentor in 2015.
2015 I am determined will be my breakthrough year! I am putting my foot down right here and right now. I am cheering myself on towards my dreams! One baby step at a time. What are those dreams you might ask? Here are a few of them..
Open an Etsy shop of my own to sell handmade, vintage and recycled items that are created or gathered by yours truly.
I want to drive across Canada to go to my brother’s wedding in August.
Self publish another book of art and poetry
Find a new job in a new city with a house in the country to rent.
Get a new kitty! (not until I move from where I am though)
As I was doing research for the Etsy shop today that nasty voice came crawling in .. and I say SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I am so done with that voice only positivity can linger here from now until infinity!
Am I alone in this? I do not think so but at times it feels so lonely when I do not open up and let these things out. If you have read this far I thank you. I would love to hear from you. Leave me a comment below.